Compiled News 10-22 & 23-05

The weekend brings the most boring news ever. Grats.

KUBRICK'S 2001 EXPLAINED. NOW IF THEY'D ONLY DO THIS FOR DAVID LYNCH.

CHECK OUT THIS HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE STUFF. NOW.

HOBBITS ARE REAL! FIND MY PREEEEEECIOUS!

BLOODRAYNE POSTERS HIT THE NET, CREATING MORE DISCUSSION ON HOW THIS FILM WILL FAIL.

"ERAGON" HAS A CAST AND SOME SORT OF POSTER, WRITER STILL WAITING TO GRADUATE HIGH SCHOOL.

"PORKY" FROM "OUR GANG" IS DEAD. IN OTHER NEWS, THERE WAS A PORKY IN OUR GANG.

NOT TO BE OUTDONE BY MADONNA, CAMERON DIAZ TEACHES A STANFORD CLASS, COMPLETES A FULL SENTENCE WITHOUT THE HELP OF DREW BARRYMORE OR LUCY LIU. TIMBERLAKE SURRENDERS.

BRITNEY SPEARS THINKS PEOPLE WANT TO SEE PICTURES OF HER BABY.

HEY! GUESS WHAT! THEY CAN MAKE CRAP CARTOONS IN INDIA, TOO!!

GOD SMITES ANOTHER AUTHOR, BRINGS GARLIC AND A STAKE WITH HIM THIS TIME.

Great news on that front, right? That's OK. She hasn't written a good book in 10 years.

Back to work, you worms!

-Constable Kreegal
Big Boss of the Sheep