Compiled News 12-13-05

And now... the news.

BECAUSE SOME NOMINATIONS ARE ENOUGH NOMINATIONS, I GIVE YOU THE "GOLDEN GLOBE" NOMINATIONS!

PROVING TO FINALLY BE A TRUE IRISHMAN, COLIN FARRELL GETS TREATMENT FOR EXHAUSTION AND MEDICATION DEPENDENCY. I'LL DRINK TO THAT.

NOT EVEN SNOOP DOGG COULD SAVE THIS MURDERER. TOOKIE GETS THE SHOT, SLEEPS FOREVER. THE JUSTICE SYSTEM FINALLY GETS ONE RIGHT.

"SOMTHING'S GOTTA GIVE" GETS A SEQUEL WITH ACTUAL "STARS" IN IT.

NOT ONE, BUT TWO "WITCHBLADE" MOVIES GET TO BE MADE, TED TURNER EXCITED AGAIN.

SNAKES ON A PLANE!

JUST WHEN I THOUGHT I WOULD GET OUT OF HAVING TO SEE BROKEN LIZARD'S "BEERFEST", THEY GO AND MAKE SURE THEY CAST THE ONE GUY THAT I'LL ALWAYS PAY TO SEE. BASTARDS.

HERE'S THAT 2006 DREAMWORKS LINK THAT WAS SCREWED UP YESTERDAY. THANKS, INTERWUB.

REMEMBER WHEN THEY WERE GOING TO MAKE THAT COMIC-TO-FILM OF "PREACHER"...WELL IT COULDA LOOKED LIKE THIS...

IF YOU LIVE IN NEW YORK, THERE'S A JOB OPENING AT "THE DAILY SHOW".

GOLUM DOES HIS THING AS "KING KONG", PROVING ONCE AGAIN TO BE THE BEST ACTOR NEVER SEEN IN A FILM.

PRINCE GETS TO BE IN THE RECORD BUSINESS AGAIN, NO WORD AS OF YET ON SEQUEL TO RASPBERRY BERET OR LITTLE RED CORVETTE.

CABLE COMPANIES FORCED TO DO YOUR PARENTING FOR YOU, THANKS TO THE GOVERNMENT WHO CAN'T EVEN PARENT THEMSELVES. STOP BEING SHITTY PARENTS.

That's it. Big review tomorrow, I hope, of something that ain't what I mentioned yesterday. Suck it.

-Constable Kreegal
Big Boss of the Sheep