Compiled News 12-16-05

Welcome to the weekend...

Here's the news:

LIONS GATE FILMS HAS CHANGED ITS NAME AND LOGO TO "LIONSGATE". THEY NOW HAVE A SHITTIER LOGO AND ONE LESS SPACE, BUT DOLLARS TO DOUGHNUTS THERE'S A RICH GRAPHIC DESIGNER OUT THERE SOMEWHERE.

JUST IN TIME FOR THE HOLIDAYS...A CHRISTMAS GORY!

FOR A MOVIE THAT'S BOUND TO MAKE "TITANIC" MONEY, IT SURE WAS LIMP IN WEDNESDAY.

EXPERT ON ALL THINGS CINEMATIC, MARK WAHLBERG TALKS "BRAZILIAN JOB".

ASHLEE SIMPSON CAN'T SING OR STAND UP.

NEED A NEW "V FOR VENDETTA" TRAILER? WE'RE ON IT!

A "THE HILLS HAVE EYES" POSTER THAT ISN'T FROM 1974.

RANDOM MTV MOVIE NEWS, FROM RANDOM 'OLE MTV, COURTESY OF RANDOM 'OLE JOBLO.

MORGAN FREEMAN SAYS WHAT WE'VE ALL BEEN THINKING ABOUT BLACK HISTORY MONTH.

THE ITALIAN "HOSTEL" POSTER IS COOLER THAN YOU.

SUPERMAN GETS A DOCUMENTARY JUST IN TIME FOR THE MOVIE NEXT YEAR...LET THE MARKETING BEGIN! NOW IF THEY CAN JUST COME UP WITH A TRAILER THAT DOESN'T BLOW.

NOVAK LEAVES CNN, TAIL TUCKED FIRMLY BETWIXT LEGS & FOX IS THERE TO GIVE HIM SHELTER.

IN A BID TO GIVE CHINA A HEADS-UP ON AMERICAN POLITICS, THEY'VE FINALLY GOTTEN "DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES".

HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM ALL OF US AT MTV. DON'T COME BACK NEXT YEAR.

"POOH'S HEFFALUMP MOVIE" LEADS THE 42-SONG OSCAR RACE!

WHAT? DID YOU SAY SOMETHING? FOXY BROWN IS DEAF? WHAT?

That's it. Go see BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN, THE PRODUCERS and that MONKEY MOVIE.

You know you wanna.

-Constable Kreegal
Big Boss of the Sheep