Compiled News 12-20-05

Super Tuesday here on the Sheep.

Here's the news:

"SERENITY" GETS NEW LIFE ON DVD TODAY! BUY IT!! NOW!!!

TIRED OF NOT SEEING NICOLAS CAGE WITH HIS HEAD ON FIRE? HERE'S YOUR CHANCE!

NOT ENOUGH? WANT GARNER/AFFLECK/KEVIN SMITH GOODNESS? HERE'S "CATCH & RELEASE".

ROCKY TAKES ONE FOR THE TEAM.

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT HE WAS SPENDING ALL OF HIS TIME FIGHTING CRIME, SPIDER-MAN TAKES A MOMENT TO REVIEW CRAYONS. ENJOY!

"BROKEBACK" FINALLY GETS THE GO AHEAD TO HIT MORE THEATERS, PROVING THAT GAY COWBOYS CANNOT BE RESTRAINED FOR LONG.

ALSO PROVING THAT MAN-LOVING COWBOYS ARE WORTH STATUES, "BROKEBACK" CONTINUES WINNING A CRAP-LOAD OF AWARDS.

HERE'S THAT 2006 FOX PREVIEW YOU WERE WAITING FOR, ESPECIALLY YOU "GARFIELD 2" FANS.

TIRED OF NEVER GETTING CAST ANYMORE, LAURENCE FISHBURNE DECIDES TO WRITE, DIRECT AND STAR IN A NEW MOVIE.

NOT ENOUGH FORMER TREKKIES ON "LOST"? THAT'S ABOUT TO CHANGE.

IN A RIDICULOUS SHOW OF IDIOCY, "SIN CITY" DOESN'T MAKE SHORT LIST CUT OF F/X OSCAR CONTENDERS, BUT BATMAN, POTTER AND CHUCK'S CHOCO FACTORY DO.

GAVIN FINALLY KNOCKS UP GWEN...OR AT LEAST SOMEBODY DID...

FIRED "HOUSEWIVES" ACTOR STILL BEING A WHINEY LITTLE BITCH.

EVER WONDER WHAT HAPPENED WHEN OTHER SHOWS' ACTORS DIED? HERE'S THE SCOOP.

BRITNEY WAS NOT COOL ENOUGH TO HAVE A SEX TAPE AFTER ALL.

AWFUL IS THE NEW AWESOME, LIKE IT WASN'T ALREADY.

That's it, ya bastiches!

-Constable Kreegal
Big Boss of the Sheep