Compiled News 1-25-06

Your Humps, your humps, your lovely lady lumpsday news:


CHRIS PENN IS DEAD AT 40...OR 43...DEPENDING ON WHO YOU ASK. EITHER WAY, SEAN HAS ANOTHER REASON TO BE PISSY.

STEPHEN KING'S NEW BOOK "CELL" IS OUT, BUT BE SURE NOT TO USE YOUR CELLPHONE, YOU ZOMBIE FREAK.

DISNEY OFFICIALLY BUYS PIXAR, GETS STEVE JOBS ONE OF THOSE HATS WITH THE MOUSE EARS ON IT SO HE CAN SIT IN HIS MONEY BIN WITH IT ON.

"PRIEST" TO COME TO THE BIG SCREEN, MAKING ALL OF YOUR COMIC BOOK VAMPIREY-WESTERN DREAMS COME TRUE.

AMBER TAMBLYN FIGURES OUT SHE HAS A "GRUDGE"...."2"...."GRUDGE 2".

IN A SHOCKING REVEAL, K-FED'S RAP ALBUM IS "INCREDIBLY HORRIBLE"!

RAPPER "CASSIDY" GETS CONVICTED OF INVOLUNTARY MANSLAUGHTER...PROVING ONCE AGAIN THAT YOU CAN'T SPELL MANSLAUGHTER WITHOUT LAUGHTER.

DON'T SCREW WITH JOE PESCI OR HE'LL PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH.

MODEL SUES "SPAMALOT" FOR STEALING HER IMAGE, HAVING SENSE OF HUMOR.

OUT OF TALENTED PEOPLE TO GIVE STARS TO, "MOTLEY CRUE" GETS A STAR ON THE WALK OF FAME.

That's it! I swear it!

Rest in peace, Chris.

-Constable Kreegal
Big Boss of the Sheep