Compiled News 11-5 & 6-05

Weekend news, just in time for you to go to sleep.

LOWELL IS THE SANDMAN! WITH A PIC FROM AIN'T IT COOL!

ANNE HATHAWAY TO PLAY JANE AUSTEN, GLAD SHE TOOK OFF HER CLOTHES FOR DIRECT TO DVD DRUG MOVIE, CONVIENIENTLY LEFT OUT OF HER PRINCESS DIARY.

A THIRD "RESIDENT EVIL" IS ON THE WAY, NO WORD AS TO HOW TERRIBLE IT WILL BE.

CONTINUING HIS BID FOR OSCAR, PHOENIX STILL PLUGGING "WALK THE LINE".

KILMER TO BE A RUSSIAN, LIVE IN A CAVE WITH THE BROWN BUNNY.

"HELLBOY" CARTOONS COMING TO KICK YOUR T.V.'S ASS, THEN YOUR DVD PLAYER'S.

ALEC BALDWIN TO STICK IT TO SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR, WHICH ISN'T WEIRD OR CREEPY, RIGHT?

THE SKY WAS FALLING, BUT "CHICKEN LITTLE" AND THE MARINES STILL CAN'T SAVE THE TERRORIZED HOLLYWOOD BOX OFFICE.

"HARRY POTTER" CAST ATTENDS PREMIERE IN A COUNTRY OTHER THAN YOUR OWN, VOLDEMORT STILL TRYING TO BUY HOUSE IN TOLEDO FOR HIS PREGNANT WIFE.

PHIL COLLINS SAYS HE WOULDN'T MIND A "GENESIS" REUNION, DOESN'T BOTHER TO ASK GENERAL POPULATION OF EARTH, BROTHER BEAR OR TARZAN.

WANT TO GO TO YALE GRAD SCHOOL FOR MUSIC? WHY NOT? IT'S FREE!

That's it. Tune in tomorrow, when nothing new is happening, and we're all just buying time until Potter, Walk The Line and Rent come out.

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-Constable Kreegal
Big Boss of the Sheep