Compiled News 11-7-05

Another week gone in November, still more news.

E-MAIL us. Put your name on THE MAP. Leave a comment. Do SOMETHING.

BRUCE CAMPBELL TO PLAY HIMSELF, THIS TIME STEALING HIS OWN SCREEN TIME IN NEW FILM.

REMEMBER "STICKY FINGAZ"? WELL, NOW HE'S WESLEY SNIPES. ALWAYS BET ON BLADE.

SCARLETT IS AN AMAZON, STILL SCROGS GUYS IN ELEVATORS.

GUY TALKS ABOUT STAR WARS SHOW, WANTING TO MAKE FEATURES FOR UNDER $10 MILLION AND OTHER SCIENCE FICTION.

JOBLO DOES FANBOYS.

SUPERMAN AND SHYAMALAN TRAILER IN FRONT OF POTTER, OLD DUDES KILL KIDS FOR TICKETS.

IN AN EFFORT TO STEAL ALL MY MONEY, THEY ARE MAKING A "DARK CITY" DIRECTOR'S CUT.

DEAR BROWNCOATS, HERE'S WHAT THE SERENITY DVD WILL LOOK LIKE, AND NO, THERE STILL WON'T BE A SEQUEL.

SAW III IS GOING TO BE MADE, NOT GOING TO BE CALLED "FREDDY VS. JIGSAW".

CRUISE DUMPS SISTER DOWN TO CHARITIES, WONDERS IF HE STILL HAS ALL THE RIGHT MOVES.

ON THE HEELS OF NOT HAVING A CAREER, SHAWN COLVIN DECIDES TO TELL PEOPLE THAT SHE CONTEMPLATED SUICIDE, STILL NOT MAKING GOOD MUSIC.

FAKE DEBATE SPARKS REAL PEOPLE TRYING TO DECIDE WHO WILL WIN FAKE PRESIDENCY, GEORGE W. WONDERING WHY HE WASN'T INVITED.

DEAR AMERICA, THERE ARE ONLY 6,000 PEOPLE IN THE ACADEMY, VOTING FOR YOUR OSCARS, AND YOU WONDER WHY YOU'RE ALWAYS PISSED ABOUT WHO WINS?

There you have it. Do something about it.

-Constable Kreegal
Big Boss of the Sheep