Compiled News 11-8-05

The 2nd Tuesday in November brings us... news.

E-MAIL us. Comment. Refresh. Join the MAP. Blow your nose.

"CASTLEVANIA" GOES TO DIMENSION, ALONG WITH EVERY OTHER THIRD RATE HORROR / VIDEO GAME MOVIE.

ROMERO TO DO "BUICK", DRIVE AWAY WITH STEPHEN KING AND SPEND ALL OF THEIR MONEY ON ZOMBIES.

SEVERAL ACTORS YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT HAVE SIGNED UP TO DO MOVIES YOU WON'T WATCH.

WILL SMITH TO PLAY ANGRY, WHITE, ONE-EYED LEADER OF S.H.I.E.L.D.?

INDY 4 STILL NEVER HAPPENING, DUE TO THE WRITING TALENTS OF GEORGE LUCAS. THANKS.

HARRY POTTER STAR WANTS TO BE JESUS.

ROBIN WILLIAMS, REALIZING HE'S TOO BROKE TO BUY MORE CRANK, WANTS TO DO "MRS. DOUBTFIRE 2".

CHRIS KLEIN STILL TAKES HIGH ROAD OVER CRAZY, KNOCKED-UP EX-GIRLFRIEND.

HAVE DIRCTV? MISS A SHOW YOU LIKE? PAY TO HAVE IT REPLAYED! BECAUSE DOWNLOADING FREE TELEVISION IS BAD! BAD I SAY! EVEN IF THE SHOWS ARE ALREADY ON THE FREE CHANNELS! BAD!

KATE HUDSON IS NOT A FAT-ASS.

HUNTER S. THOMPSON BLOWN INTO THE SKY BY JOHNNY DEPP WORTH A DOCUMENTARY. PRETTY SURE HUNTER WOULD'VE HATED THAT.

KENNY CHESNEY PUSHES BOUNDRIES...I DON'T EVEN HAVE WORDS TO DESCRIBE HOW RIDICULOUS THAT SOUNDS.

KATE MOSS HAS FINALLY GONE BACK TO WORK, OFF THE SANDWICHES, BACK ON THE CRACK.

That's it folks. Have a good one. Watch Bones, Supernatural and Law & Order SVU tonight. You're welcome, ahead of time.

-Constable Kreegal
Big Boss of the Sheep