Compiled News 12-21-05

Hump-day "nobody goes to work this week because they're lazy" news!

WHAT'S BETTER THAN NO NEWS? HOW ABOUT A "CLERKS 2" VIDEO DIARY FEATURING KEVIN SMITH, QUENTIN TARANTINO & ROBERT RODRIGUEZ? YEAH, THAT'S BETTER.

LA WEEKLY PISSES ALL OVER THE "CELEBRITY NEWS" OF 2005.

MEL GIBSON'S "APOCALYPTO" TRAILER HITS, WHILE MEL ROLLS IN HIS MONEY BIN WITH MAYANS.

BUDD SCHULBERG EXPLAINS WHERE HOLLYWOOD WENT WRONG...AND EVERYONE SHOULD LISTEN TO A GUY NAMED BUDD.

"THE O.C." GETS A TIME BUMP, STILL ABOUT EVERYBODY SCREWING EACH OTHER IN PRETTY CLOTHES.

WITH FOUR DAYS TO GO BEFORE ITS LIMITED RELEASE, MALICK'S "THE NEW WORLD" STILL ISN'T FINISHED, COLIN FARRELL STILL DRUNK.

NEWSWEEK GETS THE EXCLUSIVE ON "THE DA VINCI CODE" WITH AMERICA'S FAVORITE ACTOR & OPIE CUNNINGHAM.

DIDN'T GET ENOUGH OF NOT SEEING "JOHNSON FAMILY VACATION" THE FIRST TIME? WELL STRAP YOURSELVES IN FOR THE SEQUEL NOT BEING CALLED "JOHNSON FAMILY EUROPEAN VACATION".

RUMOR HAS IT CHARLIZE THERON HAS TURNED DOWN BEING THE NEW BOND GIRL IN "CASINO ROYALE", PROBABLY BECAUSE SHE'S TOO BUSY AFFLECKING HER CAREER WITH SUCH HITS AS "AEON FLUX" AND "REINDEER GAMES".

TTFN. Not a lot going on. We'll have several special things coming up before the end of the year, like "Best & Worst" lists from our staff and Jerrica Benton's plea for "Cinderella Man"... stay tuned, true believers.

-Constable Kreegal
Big Boss of the Sheep