Compiled News 1-14 & 15 & 16-06

Well... after a heartbreaking 2 hours of "24" last night, we at the Sheep are gearing up for another 2 hours tonight at 8 p.m. on FOX. You better watch it. Everyone else is.

Here's the news:

"HOODWINKED" WINS THE BOX OFFICE PRIZE BY MERE HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS OVER "LAST HOLIDAY" AND "GLORY ROAD", WHILE "THE CHRONIC *WHAT* CLES OF NARNIA" BEAT "HOSTEL" DOWN TO 5TH PLACE.

LOCK UP YOUR DAUGHTERS, THE TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES ARE COMING....AGAIN...WITH BETTER ANIMATION...

WANT TO DOWNLOAD MOVIES TO YOUR CAR AT THE GAS PUMP? WELCOME TO THE FUTURE. PHILIP K. DICK WOULD BE SO PROUD.

ROSARIO DAWSON, QUEEN OF ALL MEDIA, HAS A COMIC BOOK COMING OUT....NO, SERIOUSLY...

SICK OF NO MOVIES WITH NATHAN FILLION? TAKE YOUR MEDICINE!

BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU, HERE'S THE TRAILER FOR "ULTRAVIOLET"! MILLA, MILLA, BO-BILLA.

THAT OLD POEM BY "ANONYMOUS" GETS A MOVIE TRAILER, THIS TIME WITHOUT CHRISTOPHER LAMBERT!

MICKEY ROURKE WINS "BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR" FROM THE ONLINE CRITICS FOR "SIN CITY"! WHERE'S YOUR ACADEMY NOW?!?

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE TO GO BACK IN THE WATER, "POSEIDON" GETS A POSTER.

JOBLO GIVES US THE BEST POSTERS OF 2005, AND ONCE AGAIN, I'M NOT ON ANY OF THEM.

NEW "DOCTOR WHO" FINALLY GETS THE SCI-FI CHANNEL GREEN LIGHT...NOW IF BASIC CABLE WOULD ONLY PICK UP SCI-FI. I'LL TRADE THEM FOURTEEN MEXICAN CHANNELS FOR IT. IS IT A DEAL?

HOT ON THE HEELS OF HIS RETIREMENT TO PRISON, DMX RETURNS WITH A NEW LABEL, READY TO CONTINUE THE PREACHING OF GOOD WILL TOWARD MAN.

That's about it. Nothing too exciting.

Sure, the Golden Globes are on tonight, but somebody should have told them not to go head to head with the second half of the "24" premiere. It'll be tough to try to watch Kiefer on two channels at once, so I'm pretty sure the Globes can suck it.

WATCH "24"!

-Constable Kreegal
Big Boss of the Sheep