Compiled News 1-11-06

Once again, it's the Hump Day news:

BRAD PITT HAS FILLED ANGELINA JOLIE WITH A PITTLING.

MIKE NICHOLS DIRECTS TOM HANKS & JULIA ROBERTS IN THE NEXT MOVIE TO RAKE IN THE BUCKS "CHARLIE WILSON'S WAR".

SEEN THE ANTI-CHRIST? WANT TO? AND NO... IT'S NOT A PIC OF GEORGE W. BUSH....THIS TIME.

"TRANSFORMERS" MOVIE TEST FOOTAGE? YOU BE THE JUDGE.

RAIMI GOES FROM SPIDEY TO DISC WORLD, PUTTING YET ANOTHER CHECK IN BRUCH CAMPBELL'S BULGING POCKETS.

HERE'S THE TOP 10 GROSSERS OF 2005...AND I'M NOT IN ANY OF THEM.

SETH GREEN IS THE HARDEST WORKING HOBBIT IN SHOW BUSINESS.

SICK OF THE FIRST "ERAGON" POSTER? HERE'S ANOTHER ONE. IT'S BLUE!

"BASIC INSTINCT 2" GETS A POSTER, AND MICHAEL DOUGLAS CROSSES HIS FINGERS.

KID THAT'S NOT "MALCOLM" FROM "MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE" BUYS THE "NEWLYWED" LOVE SHACK, KNOWS WHAT TUNA IS.

THE GOLDEN TOMATO AWARDS!!!

EMINEM & EX-WIFE APPLY FOR MARRIAGE LICENSE, PROVING THAT YOU CAN, IN FACT, KEEP BEATING A DEAD HORSE.

PETE DOHERTY PLEADS GUILTY TO DRUG CHRAGES, STILL CAN'T SING, BUT HE FINALLY MADE THE PAPERS.

A BAND I MADE FAMOUS, THE KAISER CHIEFS, TOP THE BRIT AWARD HOMS, AND I DON'T EVEN GET A THANK YOU.

BOND'S "GOLDFINGER" ASTON MARTIN TO BE AUCTIONED, NO WORD ON WHETHER ODD JOB WILL BE IN THE TRUNK.

That's it. Feast you hounds.

-Constable Kreegal
Big Boss of the Sheep