Compiled News 2-1-06

Welcome to February. Only 11 months until the Oscars. The heat is on.

Here's the news:

MATTHEW FOX TO PLAY RED DAWSON IN MARSHALL FOOTBALL MOVIE...CONTINUES MAKING STUFF THAT INVOLVES PLANE CRASHES.

TWO PEOPLE YOU DON'T KNOW HAVE BEEN CAST IN "HARRY POTTER & THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX".

ALEX PROYAS TO DIRECT "IRON MAN"? COULD TONY STARK FLY INTO "DARK CITY" & DRINK WITH "THE CROW"?

CONTRASTING "24" MOVIE NEWS, AND BY "CONTRASTING" WE MEAN "DUMBASS".

THE WB DOES ITS BEST TO KILL "SUPERNATURAL" BY THROWING IT TO THURSDAYS, AND "EVERWOOD" FLOATS BACK TO MONDAYS.

LOOKING FOR THAT SWEET, SWEET "BREAK-UP" POSTER? NOW THE TABLOIDS CAN OFFICIALLY SAY THAT ANISTON & VAUGHN HAVE BEEN SEEN IN BED TOGETHER!

"NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD" AS PERFORMED BY BUNNIES. BUNNIES EAT BRAINS, TOO.

NO ONE HAS POWER LIKE "THE POWER OF THE DARK CRYSTAL"!

SARAH SILVERMAN BRINGS JESUS' MAGIC TO THE SMALL SCREEN, PROVING ONCE AGAIN THAT COMEDY CENTRAL WILL GIVE ANY COMEDIAN A JOB. JUST ASK CARLOS MENCIA...IT'S BEEN A WHOLE YEAR SINCE HE'S HAD TO STAND IN FRONT OF THE HOME DEPOT.

"SPIDER-MAN 3: THE GREAT SET-UP" CONTINUES.

THE COHEN BROTHERS ARE "COUNTRY" BOYS.

LIONSGATE GETS ANIMATED ABOUT MARVEL COMICS.

BONNAROO GETS IT RIGHT, WHERE COACHELLA GETS IT WRONG.

MAKING SURE IT'S LAST SEASON EATS SHIT, BRITNEY SPEARS WILL GUEST STAR ON "WILL & GRACE".

That's about enough for today. It's hump-day, so I don't want to tickle your naughties.

-Constable Kreegal
Big Boss of the Sheep