Compiled News 2-14 & 15-06
Sorry for the day off, but I was out hunting with Citizen Dick Cheney, when all of a sudden that drunk S.O.B. turned on me with his shotgun and... forget it.
The Constable had to have emergency drilling done in his pie hole, and the drugs made the poor constable barf. I'm sure you wanted to know that, like we owe you an explanation. We're not the Vice President, after all.
The NEWS:
JEAN SMART OWNS "24", AND SHE AIN'T DONE YET.
JOSS WHEDON POO POOS THE NEW "FIREFLY SERIES ON THE CW" TALK, HOW ONLY HE CAN.
ON A BETTER NOTE, HOWEVER, IT LOOKS LIKE MAL & STARBUCK WILL TEAM-UP FOR "WHITE NOISE 2: FIREFLY GALACTICA".
GOSSETT'S "THE RED STAR" GETS HOOKED UP BY UNIVERSAL.
THAT GUY WHO DID A LOT OF ALIEN STUFF IS DEAD. ROMULAN...BABYLON 5ian...ONE-ARMED-MANian...FRIENDian.
IF YOU ARE A BAD GUY IN LOS ANGELES, YOU NEED TO FEAR THE HULK.
O'BRIEN GETS FINNISH, EATS CHOCOLATE, STROKES TROLLS.
THE 2006 SATURN AWARD NOMINATIONS ARE OUT! THINK SCI-FI, BATMAN!
DEMI MOORE IS STEALING MICHAEL CAINE'S FAMILY JEWELS, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
EDDIE MURPHY IS MAKING ANOTHER SHITTY SCI-FI MOVIE, THOUGH THIS ONE ISN'T "PLUTO NASH 2", BUT RATHER "STARSHIP DAVE".
MICHAEL BAY'S "FRIDAY THE 13TH: PART 11: PEARL HARBOR" IS FULL-STEAM AHEAD. AND WHY ISN'T TARANTINO DIRECTING THIS?
REMEMBER THAT BOLLYWOOD "FIGHT CLUB" WE WERE TALKING ABOUT OVER DINNER A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO? HERE'S THE TRAILER. PREPARE TO SING AND DANCE, DURDEN-STYLE.
WILLIE NELSON SINGS A GAY COWBOY SONG THAT ACTUALLY NOT FROM "BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN".
PAMELA ANDERSON IS A NO-TALENT, RAGE-INDUCING WHORE, AND I HOPE SHE STAYS OUT OF KENTUCKY FOREVER....WAIT...OH, SHE REALLY IS? COOL. SCREW THE CHICKENS.
SOME PRISSY BITCH WHO HATES AMERICA AND CAN'T GET LAID IS TAKING THE WRITERS OF "FRIENDS" TO COURT.
"SWINGERS" BOYS TO GET THE SHIT SHINED OUT OF THEM IN ASPEN. YUK YUK YUK.
JUDGE JUDY IS 10 YEARS OLD AND SHE DOESN'T LOOK A DAY OVER 90.
That's it, land lubbers. Enjoy. See you tomorrow, whether I can talk or not.
-Constable Kreegal
Big Boss of the Sheep
The Constable had to have emergency drilling done in his pie hole, and the drugs made the poor constable barf. I'm sure you wanted to know that, like we owe you an explanation. We're not the Vice President, after all.
The NEWS:
JEAN SMART OWNS "24", AND SHE AIN'T DONE YET.
JOSS WHEDON POO POOS THE NEW "FIREFLY SERIES ON THE CW" TALK, HOW ONLY HE CAN.
ON A BETTER NOTE, HOWEVER, IT LOOKS LIKE MAL & STARBUCK WILL TEAM-UP FOR "WHITE NOISE 2: FIREFLY GALACTICA".
GOSSETT'S "THE RED STAR" GETS HOOKED UP BY UNIVERSAL.
THAT GUY WHO DID A LOT OF ALIEN STUFF IS DEAD. ROMULAN...BABYLON 5ian...ONE-ARMED-MANian...FRIENDian.
IF YOU ARE A BAD GUY IN LOS ANGELES, YOU NEED TO FEAR THE HULK.
O'BRIEN GETS FINNISH, EATS CHOCOLATE, STROKES TROLLS.
THE 2006 SATURN AWARD NOMINATIONS ARE OUT! THINK SCI-FI, BATMAN!
DEMI MOORE IS STEALING MICHAEL CAINE'S FAMILY JEWELS, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
EDDIE MURPHY IS MAKING ANOTHER SHITTY SCI-FI MOVIE, THOUGH THIS ONE ISN'T "PLUTO NASH 2", BUT RATHER "STARSHIP DAVE".
MICHAEL BAY'S "FRIDAY THE 13TH: PART 11: PEARL HARBOR" IS FULL-STEAM AHEAD. AND WHY ISN'T TARANTINO DIRECTING THIS?
REMEMBER THAT BOLLYWOOD "FIGHT CLUB" WE WERE TALKING ABOUT OVER DINNER A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO? HERE'S THE TRAILER. PREPARE TO SING AND DANCE, DURDEN-STYLE.
WILLIE NELSON SINGS A GAY COWBOY SONG THAT ACTUALLY NOT FROM "BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN".
PAMELA ANDERSON IS A NO-TALENT, RAGE-INDUCING WHORE, AND I HOPE SHE STAYS OUT OF KENTUCKY FOREVER....WAIT...OH, SHE REALLY IS? COOL. SCREW THE CHICKENS.
SOME PRISSY BITCH WHO HATES AMERICA AND CAN'T GET LAID IS TAKING THE WRITERS OF "FRIENDS" TO COURT.
"SWINGERS" BOYS TO GET THE SHIT SHINED OUT OF THEM IN ASPEN. YUK YUK YUK.
JUDGE JUDY IS 10 YEARS OLD AND SHE DOESN'T LOOK A DAY OVER 90.
That's it, land lubbers. Enjoy. See you tomorrow, whether I can talk or not.
-Constable Kreegal
Big Boss of the Sheep
posted by Constable Kreegal at 11:20 AM
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