Compiled News 2-4 & 5 & 6 & 7 & 8 & 9-06

MR. ANDERSON! Welcome back.....

Sorry for the downtime folks, but we hope a picture from a Matrix movie makes you feel better. The Sheep might be a little buggy for the next few days, but luckily, if we get up the news today and tomorrow, we'll be rockin' like Dokken.

Thanks for taking the time to wait it out with us.

Here's the catch-up news...there's a lot, so tread heavily:

A CLIP FROM "THE DA VINCI CODE"!

THE GRAMMY RUN-DOWN, OR: U2 CAN DEFEAT KANYE WEST IF YOU'RE SLY LIKE A CLARKSON STONE...OR SOMETHING EQUALLY DULL.

BREAKING NEWS: SLY STONE IS ALIVE.

HARRISON FORD STANDS BEHIND THE FIREWALL, STILL DRUNK.

AL MICHAELS LEAVES "MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL" TO CALL PLAYS WITH MADDEN 2006 ON SUNDAY NIGHTS ON NBC.

LES PAUL AIN'T CURRENTLY ROCKIN' HARDCORE.

"FAMOUS" FAT ITALIAN TO SING AT WINTER OLYMPICS OPENING...AND NO, IT'S NOT BRANDO'S GHOST.

YOUR SOON TO BE EVERY-FEW-DAYS DOSE OF "X-MEN 3: THE LAST STAND" PICS.

DAMON & AFFLECK TO RE-TEAM FOR A LAWYER MOVIE, AND WOULD YOU JUST LOOK AT THE CREDITS MATT DAMON HAS COMING OUT THIS YEAR?

PETER SAAAAARSSGAAAAAAARD TO BE IN THE FILM ADAPTATION OF CRAIG LUCAS' "SMALL TRAGEDY"!

GIMMIE BACK THE STEVE MARTIN I LOVE!

BAZ LUHRMANN'S NEW "EPIC" STARTS FILMING THIS YEAR. IT'S A WORLD WAR II ROMANCE...BUT DO THEY SING?!?

WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS NOW IS A "BAYWATCH" MOVIE.

ADAM SANDLER & KEVIN JAMES TO WEAVE A TALE THAT WILL ROCK THE VERY FOUNDATIONS OF AMERICA...OR, RATHER...THEY'RE GOING "BROKEBACK".

WANT ANOTHER PIC TO QUENCH YOUR APPETITE FOR DOPE SMOKING, CAT POOPING, HIPPIE COMICS-COME-TO-SCREEN LOVE? HERE'S A NEW "FABULOUS FURRY FREAK BROTHERS" STILL.

ELI ROTH TALKS "HOSTEL" UNCUT VERSION, LOCKS REPORTER IN A ROOM AND TORTURES HIM.

CONAN O'BRIAN IS GOIN' TA FINLAND!

TEN BEST T.V. ROMANCES, AS DECIDED BY PEOPLE AT THE ONION AV CLUB.

FOLLOW THAT WITH NBC'S "BEST & WORST T.V. COUPLES", AND YOU'VE GOT BLEEDING EYES FOR A WEEK.

"SUNNYVALE" WINS "GOLDEN GROUNDHOG". IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS, CLICK THE LINK, SUCKER.

CASTING RUMOR, ESPECIALLY SOME ABOUT ANGELIA JOLIE PITT BEING "A DAME TO KILL FOR"!

MORE SPIDER-MAN 3 LIES THAN YOU CAN SHAKE A VENOM-STICK AT!

EDDIE IZZARD & MINNIE DRIVER GET THEIR OWN T.V. SHOW ON FX!! HOLY CRAP!!

"NACHO LIBRE" GETS A RIDICULOUS POSTER AND AN EVEN MORE RIDICULOUS TRAILER!

TIRED OF NOT HAVING A 14-DISC SET OF SUPERMAN MOVIES, INCLUDING THE OFTEN LIED ABOUT "DONNER CUT" OF "SUPERMAN 2"? WELL, WAIT JUST A LITTLE LONGER, AND YOU'LL GET IT ALL. WE PROMISE.

"SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE" AS IT WAS ORIGINALLY INTENDED. THIS MAKES US SMILE.

"BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN"...IS IT ART...OR AGENDA?

GRANDPA MUNSTER CLOSES HIS COFFIN FOR GOOD.

That's a pretty good recap. If we missed something important, and we're sure we did, leave a comment, or, if you work here, POST IT YOURSELF FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

Yes, it's good to be back.

-Constable Kreegal
Big Boss of the Sheep