11/14/2005

Compiled News 11-12 & 13 & 14-05

Not a single thing happened over the weekend, that you didn't already know. Trust us. We know these things.

So on with the news...

AQUAMAN TO GET HIS OWN SHOW ON THE WB, SUBMARINER SHARPENS HARPOON.

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN NIC CAGE HAS SEX WITH AN ASIAN WOMAN 20 YEARS YOUNGER THAN HE IS.

WITH "BREACH", THE F.B.I. WILL BE IN GOOD HANDS.

BLADE T.V. SHOW FILLS OUT ITS CAST, CONTINUES TO BE BAD IDEA.

"DA VINCI CODE" TRAILER TO BE WITH "KING KONG"... LIKE ANYBODY WILL SEE THAT TRIPE.

CELEBRITIES SHOULD NEVER BE ALLOWED TO NAME THEIR OWN CHILDREN.

MARTHA STEWART'S "APPRENTICE" GETS FIRED, DONALD TRUMP BARELY NOTICES, STILL THOUGHT SHE WAS IN PRISON.

ALI G READY TO BE SUED BY ENTIRE COUNTRY.

IN WHAT IS SIMPLY A SAD ATTEMPT AT GETTING AMERICANS TO LIKE HIM, RUSSELL "FIGHTIN' & SAILIN' AROUND THE WORLD" CROWE BEGINS FIGHTING CRIME.

BRUCE WILLIS HATES TERRORISTS.

EDDIE GUERRERO, PRO WRESTLER, IS DEAD AT 38, BUT AT LEAST HIS TEETH WERE CLEAN.

BRANNON BRAGA SAYS HE'S DONE WITH STAR TREK, KINDA LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE IN THE UNITED FEDERATION OF PLANETS.

PROVING IN NO WAY A REFLEXTION OF GANG VIOLENCE, BUT RATHER JUST HOW BAD THE MOVIE MUST BE, PEOPLE START SHOOTING EACH OTHER AFTER 50 CENT'S MOVIE. (OR: ADD YOUR OWN STEREOTYPE HERE.)

IN OTHER STAR TREK RELATED NEWS, HERE'S THE NEXT GENERATION BY DR. SEUSS. (IMPLY THE RHYME, WOULD YOU?)

TOP 10 GIRL ON GIRL KISSES.

TOP 10 DUDE ON DUDE KISSES.

ANGELINA JOLIE COULD BE THE NEXT "BOND" GIRL, BUT ONLY IF JENNIFER ANISTON IS BOND.

MARTIN SCORSESE TRIES TO LOCK DOWN ANOTHER HALF-ASS MOVIE HE'S WANTED TO MAKE FOR A DECADE.

AOL & WB TO OFFER SHOWS ON DEMAND, STILL HAVE SHITTY CUSTOMER SERVICE.

"DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES" GETTING MORE AND MORE DESPERATE.

SPRINGSTEEN ON "BORN TO RUN". NOBODY IS THE BOSS LIKE THE BOSS.

MCCARTNEY PLAYS SPACE STATION, ALIEN SING-ALONG ENSUES.


"SWIMFAN" SCREENWRITER PENS L.L. COOL J. THRILLER. (SORRY FOLKS, WE COULDN'T THINK OF A FUNNIER TITLE THAN THAT).


That's it. You're all caught up now. Did you see any movies over the weekend? Here a good CD? Read a good book? Watch a good t.v. show? No?

Great. But if you DID, then E-MAIL us, and we'll post it.

JOIN THE SHEEP MAP.

Smackin' it up, flippin' it and rubbbin' it down,

-Constable Kreegal
Big Boss of the Sheep

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