Compiled News 11-15-05

Super Tuesday here on The Sheep.

Ready for some news? I figured so...

KOLCHAK GETS CANNED AFTER NINE EPISODES, DARREN MCGAVIN GIGGLES LIKE A SCHOOLGIRL.

GAY COWBOYS PREPARE TO RIDE THROUGH HOLLYWOOD, ANG LEE CROUCHES & HIDES WITH THE HULK.

JUST IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW, MORE CRAP MOVIES ARE ON THE WAY!

HARRY POTTER PREPARES TO KICK IMAX'S ASS TOO.

"PRIDE & PREJUDICE" KISS SENDS AUSTEN SOCIETY INTO ORBIT...IN OTHER NEWS, JANE AUSTEN HAS A WHOLE FRICKIN' SOCIETY.

VAL KILMER LIKES TO KISS DUDES.

BECAUSE IT WORKED SO WELL FOR "FIREFLY", FANS OF "ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT" ARE PETITIONING FOR ITS RETURN.

IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU AND YOUR GOOD TASTE, KEANU COULD BE SINBAD.

DENIRO GOES BACK TO THE MAFIA, ADDING A POSSIBILITY OF MAKING HIS FIRST GOOD MOVIE IN TEN YEARS.

IN OTHER "MOVIES THAT DIDN'T NEED TO EVER BE MADE" NEWS, HERE ARE SOME PICS FROM "BASIC INSTINCT 2: RISK ADDICTION".

BECAUSE RUSSIANS ARE ALWAYS BETTER THAN AMERICANS, HERE ARE THE TWO ONE-SHEETS THAT THEY GOT FOR "KING KONG".

RAPPER 50 CENT TO RELEASE "STREET FICTION" BOOKS, PRAYS SOMEONE WILL READ ALL THE "GOOD ONES" TO HIM BEFORE BED.

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO LIVE IN A CAVE, HERE'S THE NBC BREAKDOWN OF HARRY POTTER CHARACTERS FOR YOU TO ENJOY.

BROOKE BURNS CAN'T SWIM AFTER ALL.

SCOTTY FINALLY REALLY GOES TO SPACE.

ELTON JOHN BRINGS BIG GAY PIANO TO T.V., VEGAS SHOCKED AND APPALLED.

PROVING WHAT WE ALL ALREADY KNEW, GQ FINALLY ADMITS THAT JENNIFER ANISTON HAS A DICK.

That's it, folks.

Watch BONES, SUPERNATURAL & LAW & ORDER: SVU tonight. It's your duty as Americans. That way, while you're watching it, you can say... "Awww... Constable Kreegal and I are doing the exact same thing right now...Coochie Coochie Coo." Or something like that.

E-MAIL.

JOIN THE MAP (that means YOU, you Culver City, CA and Charleston, WV people).

-Constable Kreegal
Big Boss of the Sheep