Compiled News 11-19 & 20-05

The weekend news! Just what you wanted!!

POTTER TO TOP $100 MILLION FOR THE WEEKEND.

MR. AND MRS. SPEARS DON'T WANT THEIR POST-PREGGERS PORNO GETTING OUT...DO YOU?

SPACE.COM, THE AUTHORITY ON...WELL...SPACE...PICKS THE TOP 10 SPACE MOVIES OF ALL TIME. THEY SHOULD KNOW. I GUESS.

GLITTER GETS ARRESTED IN VIETNAM. SOME COUNTRIES WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET IN THE NEWS AGAIN.

CHRISTINA AGUILERA GOT MARRIED THIS WEEKEND TO SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOU.

POPE COMIC BOOK TAKES OVER THE BESTSELLER LIST, WITHOUT SO MUCH AS AN EXORCISM. SADLY, WE ALL KNOW HOW IT ENDS.

PROVING RETIREMENT SUITS HIM, DMX TO SPEND 70 DAYS IN JAIL, DASHING ALL HOPE OF SEQUEL TO "CRADLE 2 THE GRAVE"...FOR 70 MORE DAYS.

LOOKING FOR A DIFFERENT POSEIDEN FROM THE ONE THAT'S ON T.V. TONIGHT? CHECK OUT THESE JOURNALS ABOUT THE UPCOMING FILM STARRING DREYFUSS & RUSSELL.

RUSSELL CROWE GETS AWAY WITH ATTEMPTED MURDER. MUST BE NICE TO BE A DICK.

ROBERT BLAKE, ALREADY GETTING AWAY WITH MURDER, CATCHES THE O.J. DISEASE OF HAVING TO PAY $30 MILLION IN WRONGFUL DEATH MONEY.

IN A RELATED STORY, O.J. SEES ROBERT BLAKE CATCH IT, TOO. I THINK THEY SHOULD HANG OUT. DON'T YOU?

ANOTHER "GOOD IDEA FROM THE COURTS", A JUDGE HAS ALLOWED COURTNEY LOVE TO LEAVE REHAB. NO WORD YET ON WHETHER SHE'LL GO RIGHT BACK TO THROWING HER SHOES AT MADONNA OR GETTING NAKED FOR A DOLLAR.

That's it, folks. Saw "Walk The Line". Seeing "Potter" in about an hour. We'll have lots to discuss tomorrow.

-Constable Kreegal
Big Boss of the Sheep