Compiled News 11-29-05

Tuesday, and the week's just FLYING BY isn't it? It's been 40 degrees in California the last two nights. It's smelled like snow in the air, which is a subtle change from the usual "homes and hillsides burning" smell from this time of year.

Just got back from the LBC, so I think it's time for the NEWS!

NOW THAT HE REMEMBERS HOW TO DIRECT, ROMERO KEEPS LETTING ZOMBIES GET TO HIM.

DENZEL GOES BACK TO THE FUTURE WITH JESUS TO BLOW SHIT UP.

TIM BURTON & JIM CARREY TO MAKE A MOVIE ABOUT A DEAN CAIN SHOW.

CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF A GOOD THING? TRY BEING A BALLET DANCER WITH SCISSORHANDS.

TIRED OF NOT HAVING KUNG FU PANDAS AROUND? THEN 2008 IS THE YEAR FOR YOU!

WHETHER YOU SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OR NOT, 4 MINUTES OF KONG IS WORTH THE EDUCATION.

BEEN EAGERLY AWAITING THAT LIST OF NOMINEES FOR THE INDEPENDENT SPIRIT AWARDS? NO? WELL HERE THEY ARE!

FANTASTIC FOUR DVD TO HAVE X3 STUFF ON IT, BUT WET YOUR WHISTLE ON THIS FIRST.

POTTER TAKES DOWN SPIDER-MAN ON ITS OPENING DAY, BUT PETER PARKER STILL OWNS THE HIGHEST WEEKEND GROSS EVER. MAYBE ONE DAY POTTER WILL BE A MAN...WITH SPIDER POWERS.

SCOTT STAPP FINALLY CLOSES DOOR ON CREED, SADLY STILL MAKES "MUSIC".

NOW YOU CAN OWN THE THING THAT MADE JERRY GARCIA COME UP WITH ALL THAT SHIT. (OR: THERE'S NO EXCUSE FOR A POTTY MOUTH LIKE HAVING THE REAL THING).

DISNEY & CBS OFFER BATTLIN' POPES!

KNOWING SHE CAN'T DO IT HERSELF, RUDD & COOPER JOIN JULIA ON BROADWAY.

LACHEY FENDS OFF FAUX-SADNESS OVER MARRIAGE BREAK-UP BY GETTING ANOTHER SERIES.

INXS JUST NOW REALIZED THEY WEREN'T SUCCESSFUL.

SHAKIRA'S ORAL FIXATION IS MUCH HOTTER IN ENGLISH.

That's it, folks. Aren't you glad you waited?

-Constable Kreegal
Big Boss of the Sheep