Compiled News 11-23-05
Hump-day news with a Turkey on the horizon.
"PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN'S CHEST" TRAILER HITS IN THE BACK OF A VOLVO.
SUPER-EXTENDO "SIN CITY" IS ONLY WEEKS AWAY. DROOL YOU YELLOW BASTARD.
GOLDEN GIRLS CAUSE MASS HYSTERIA AT BARNES & NOBLE....AND YES, THEY'RE ALL STILL ALIVE. AND YES, I DO MEAN MASS HYSTERIA.
"OUIJA BOARD" MOVIE, ALREADY MADE, DIDN'T THINK TO ASK PARKER BROTHERS PERMISSION, NOW HAS CHANGED NAME TO "CREEPY BOARD GAME THAT LIES TO CHILDREN WITH A TRIANGLE EYE-GLASS CENTER PIECE NOT CALLED 'OUIJA' OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT".
KEVIN SMITH DECIDES TO BE FUNNIER THAN THE TALKBACKERS AGAIN.
FELICITY HUFFMAN FINALLY GETS TO SHOW THE WORLD SHE'S BETTER THAN EVERYBODY ELSE.
HBO'S "ROME" DECIDES TO STAB ITSELF IN THE BACK.
HERE ARE PICTURES FROM "DEAD OR ALIVE". AT LEAST THEY CAST WOMEN.
"DIE HARD THE 4TH ELEMENT" TO RUSH INTO 2006? SOUNDS LIKE A BAD IDEA, BUT WITH GOOD PEOPLE.
22-YEAR-OLD GIRL SPENDS OVER $13,000 FOLLOWING HANSON AROUND, BUT THE CHICK DRUMMER STILL WON'T SLEEP WITH HER.
LIKE SEX IN THE BACK OF A VOLKSWAGON, TERI HATCHER IS UNCOMFORTABLE.
SURE, IF I BROUGHT A BILLION PEOPLE TOGETHER AND PRETTY MUCH EVERY GREAT MUSICIAN TO PLAY FOR THEM FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD IN ORDER TO TAKE A STAND AGAINST POVERTY, I'D PROBABLY WIN SOMETHING, TOO. GRATS, GELDOF.
HE'S NEIL DIAMOND! HE WILL COUNT YOU IN!!!
FINALLY! PETER GALLAGHER RELEASES HIS FIRST ALBUM! OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!!!
MARIAH CAREY ACTUALLY DOES WIN SOME AWARDS LAST NIGHT, ALONG WITH OTHER PEOPLE. SO MUCH FOR LETTING THEM LOSE SO THEY DON'T MAKE MORE "MUSIC". GOOD ONE, GUYS.
JOHN MAYER IS TIRED OF BEING "ACOUSTIC", GETTING LAID ALL THE TIME.
That's it. Stay tuned for a review of AMERICAN DREAMZ. In the meantime, go cook a bird.
-Constable Kreegal
Big Boss of the Sheep
"PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN'S CHEST" TRAILER HITS IN THE BACK OF A VOLVO.
SUPER-EXTENDO "SIN CITY" IS ONLY WEEKS AWAY. DROOL YOU YELLOW BASTARD.
GOLDEN GIRLS CAUSE MASS HYSTERIA AT BARNES & NOBLE....AND YES, THEY'RE ALL STILL ALIVE. AND YES, I DO MEAN MASS HYSTERIA.
"OUIJA BOARD" MOVIE, ALREADY MADE, DIDN'T THINK TO ASK PARKER BROTHERS PERMISSION, NOW HAS CHANGED NAME TO "CREEPY BOARD GAME THAT LIES TO CHILDREN WITH A TRIANGLE EYE-GLASS CENTER PIECE NOT CALLED 'OUIJA' OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT".
KEVIN SMITH DECIDES TO BE FUNNIER THAN THE TALKBACKERS AGAIN.
FELICITY HUFFMAN FINALLY GETS TO SHOW THE WORLD SHE'S BETTER THAN EVERYBODY ELSE.
HBO'S "ROME" DECIDES TO STAB ITSELF IN THE BACK.
HERE ARE PICTURES FROM "DEAD OR ALIVE". AT LEAST THEY CAST WOMEN.
"DIE HARD THE 4TH ELEMENT" TO RUSH INTO 2006? SOUNDS LIKE A BAD IDEA, BUT WITH GOOD PEOPLE.
22-YEAR-OLD GIRL SPENDS OVER $13,000 FOLLOWING HANSON AROUND, BUT THE CHICK DRUMMER STILL WON'T SLEEP WITH HER.
LIKE SEX IN THE BACK OF A VOLKSWAGON, TERI HATCHER IS UNCOMFORTABLE.
SURE, IF I BROUGHT A BILLION PEOPLE TOGETHER AND PRETTY MUCH EVERY GREAT MUSICIAN TO PLAY FOR THEM FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD IN ORDER TO TAKE A STAND AGAINST POVERTY, I'D PROBABLY WIN SOMETHING, TOO. GRATS, GELDOF.
HE'S NEIL DIAMOND! HE WILL COUNT YOU IN!!!
FINALLY! PETER GALLAGHER RELEASES HIS FIRST ALBUM! OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!!!
MARIAH CAREY ACTUALLY DOES WIN SOME AWARDS LAST NIGHT, ALONG WITH OTHER PEOPLE. SO MUCH FOR LETTING THEM LOSE SO THEY DON'T MAKE MORE "MUSIC". GOOD ONE, GUYS.
JOHN MAYER IS TIRED OF BEING "ACOUSTIC", GETTING LAID ALL THE TIME.
That's it. Stay tuned for a review of AMERICAN DREAMZ. In the meantime, go cook a bird.
-Constable Kreegal
Big Boss of the Sheep
posted by Constable Kreegal at 9:20 AM
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