12/01/2005

Compiled News 12-1-05

Get in the December spirit with some NEWS!

REMEMBER THAT "PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 2" TRAILER THAT WASN'T REALLY THERE? WELL, THIS ONE IS. SUCKERS.

SPEAKING OF PIRATES, PETER WEIR IS DIRECTING AGAIN, AND HE GOT THE MAIN GUY ABOVE TO DROP HIS GOLD TEETH AND STAR.

FOX FINALLY GETS AROUND TO TELLING US EXACTLY HOW THEY ARE GOING TO DOMINATE THE TELEVISION SERIAL WORLD STARTING IN JANUARY..."24", "IDOL", "BONES", "PRISON BREAK"... YEAH, YOU GET THE PICTURE.

CHABON, VIDAL, FRANZEN & WOLFE TO GET ANIMATED ON "THE SIMPSONS", REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO BE CREATIVE.

VAN WILDER II: EUROPEAN GIGALO.

WILL SMITH FINALLY GETS TO BE A SUPERHERO TO SOMEBODY OTHER THAN HIS KIDS.

DOMINO & DOOM GET THE "SPECIAL EDITION" TREATMENT FOR FEBRUARY 2006, JUST IN TIME FOR BEING THE PERFECT VALENTINE'S DAY GIFTS...RIGHT?


CHRIS NOLAN TELLS US NOTHING NEW ABOUT BATMAN 2, BUT RUMOR HAS IT THE VILLAINS ARE ON THE WAY.

BECAUSE AMERICA CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF MIKE MEYERS, SHREK 3 SET TO GO.

HAVEN'T GOT ENOUGH KONG YET? HERE'S SOME MORE!

HOT ON THE HEELS OF MAKING GAY COWBOY MOVIES, ANG LEE TALKS ABOUT A "CROUCHING TIGER" PREQUEL, AS WELL AS A BUNCH OF OTHER MOVIE NEWS, VIA MTV, WHICH CAN BE THANKED FOR THE BLACK TEXT ON BLACK BACKGROUND. I'M GLAD THEY DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO CHANGE FONT COLOR.

THE WEINSTEINS CONTINUE TO MAKE MY FATHER AND I VERY HAPPY BY GETTING THE RIGHTS TO MAKE "THE EQUALIZER" A FEATURE FILM.

WENDIE JO SPERBER GOES TO MEET THE "BOSOM BUDDIES" IN THE SKY.

SPIELBERG THINKS "MUNICH" WILL SPEAK FOR ITSELF, CONTINUES BEING BEST DIRECTOR ON PLANET EARTH.

LIKE THE REV RUN BEFORE HIM, DMC HAS A SOLO DEBUT...ONE MUST THINK THEY COULD'VE JUST MADE A NEW RUN-DMC ALBUM, OR JUST SAVED US ALL THE TROUBLE AND KEPT QUIET IN GENERAL.

IN A CRUSHING BLOW TO THE EMMY VOTERS AND DUDES IN LOVE WITH HER, MARISKA HARGITAY IS KNOCKED UP.

The end.

You'll see a review of the upcoming Spike Lee Joint INSIDE MAN very soon. You'll get to hear about all the fun I had hanging out with Spike, Brian Grazer and Opie... it'll be like you were there, only you weren't.

-Constable Kreegal
Big Boss of the Sheep

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