Compiled News 2-16-06

Since we are part of the liberal media, I would like to say:

"Here's the news!"

NERD'S OF THE WORLD UNITE! WARREN ELLIS & JOSS WHEDON GO 'ROUND 'N 'ROUND AT WARRENELLIS.COM!

A WEBSITE FOR "SNAKES ON A PLANE!", OR: A WEBSITE FOR THE BEST MOVIE EVER.

"DA VINCI CODE" PICS GALORE! GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE!

GREAT NEW IMAGE FROM "SILENT HILL", 'CAUSE BLOOD IS GREAT AND SO ARE YOU!

WHEN MORGAN FREEMAN (OR, AS MY FRIEND'S GRANDMOTHER CALLS HIM, "DANNY GLOVER")WANTS TO BE THE DEVIL, YOU BETTER LISTEN.

DID WE SHOW YOU ALL OF THESE "X3" POSTERS YET AND MAKE A RENT JOKE? IF NOT, HERE THEY ARE. CLICK UNDERNEATH THE ORIGINAL TO SEE THE OTHERS. IT'S LIKE A SLIDE SHOW FROM 1990.

HOW ABOUT THE "10 GREATEST SCI-FI FILMS NEVER MADE"? YEAH, WE THOUGHT SO.

THEY FINALLY CAST THE BAD GUY IN "CASINO ROYALE" BUT THE "BOND GIRL" IS ONLY NARROWED DOWN TO 2 OR 3. GLAD THAT ROLE IS SOOOO IMPORTANT. THEY'VE BEEN FILMING FOR THREE WEEKS.

MORE RIDICULOUS "BATMAN BEGINS AGAIN" RUMORS!

5 BOURNE ADVENTURES? WILL MATT DAMON NEVER LEARN WHO HE IS? WILL HE KEEP CASHING THOSE FAT CHECKS? DAMN, GRRRL.

PROVING THAT NO MATTER HOW "IN SHAPE" YOU ARE, YOUR GUTS WILL STILL BUST. JUST ASK MADONNA.

AH THOSE FRENCH, ALWAYS GETTING THE BEST POSTERS...HERE'S THEIRS FOR "PIRATES 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO".

HEATH LEDGER SAYS "BROKEBACK" IS DOING BETTER THAN HE HOPED, PAUSES TO KISS A DUDE.

JOHN MICHAEL MONTGOMERY ARRESTED FOR DUI, FINALLY GETS SOME NEW SONG INSPIRATION...IN THE BUTT. JUST KIDDING. HE DIDN'T GET ANY NEW INSPIRATION. HE'LL STILL BE STEALING SONGS FROM "ALL-4-ONE", JUST DRUNKER.

That's it! Go Home! See you tomorrow!

-Constable Kreegal
Big Boss of the Sheep