Compiled News 04-27-06

Tonight The Sheep sees THE BREAK-UP. Will we be broken up by the ha-ha's?

Who cares. Here's the news:


TO START THE DAY, THE SHEEP GIVES YOU VIKINGS!

MORE "SPIDEY 3" PICS. GOODNESS ME, IT'S AS IF THEY'RE ACTUALLY SHOOTING THE FILM NOW!

OPIE TALKS "DA VINCI" AND HOW THE "CODE" SIMPLY EQUALS HUGE AMOUNTS OF ONEYMAY IN HIS OCKETSPAY.

ALEC BALDWIN MENACES AN ACTRESS RIGHT OUT OF A BROADWAY PLAY, SAYS "YOU COME IN THIRD, YOU'RE FUCKING FIRED! THAT'S MY NAME!"

"BATTLESTAR GALACTICA" GETS THE SCI-FI PREQUEL TREATMENT. TEENAGE CYLONS REJOICE!

MSNBC LIKES TO THINK T.V. IS SMART ENOUGH TO HAVE UNREQUITED LOVE.

IT HAS TAKEN MANY YEARS FOR "ATLAS" TO FINALLY "SHRUG", BUT IT APPEARS THAT THE "SHRUGGING" MAY "ATLAS" MAKE IT TO THE BIG SCREEN. SORRY. IT'S EARLY.

CHUD REPORTS ON A REMAKE OF, IRONICALLY, C.H.U.D....

FROM OUR "BAD IDEA" DEPARTMENT, WES CRAVEN IS MAKING A SEQUEL TO HIS RETARDED MINERS EPIC "THE HILLS HAVE EYES".

IT'S THE "PERFECT TIME OF DAY" FOR PROBATION.

MIKE MEYERS IS GOING TO FIGHT ROBOTS, PROBABLY NOT DRESSED IN VELVET OR A FAT SUIT. PROBABLY NOT.

JERRY LEE LEWIS, STILL NOT DEAD, BRINGS OUT THE BIG GUNS FOR "REDEMPTION" DUE OUT IN SEPTEMBER, AND, FROM WHAT WE HEAR, HE STILL SCREWS HIS UNDER-AGE COUSINS.

It's Over!

-Constable Kreegal
Big Boss of the Sheep