Compiled News 04-28-06

It's Friday! Reviews of Talladega Nights & The Break-up are pending.

And now, the news:


UMA IS ON OF OUR EX-GIRLFRIENDS, TOO, BUT SHE WASN'T REALLY "SUPER".

IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW, A BUNCH OF SHOWS ARE CALLING IT QUITS. WE AT THE SHEEP SAY "DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU IN THE ASS WHEN YOU LEAVE". OTHERS SAYS, "AWWWW, WE'LL MISS YOU".

IN OTHER NEWS, ALL THREE "LAW & ORDER" SHOWS GET PICKED UP FOR NEW SEASONS, CONTINUING THE TRADITION OF SHOWING THE POLICE AS LIARS WHO WILL DO ANYTHING TO PUT SOMEONE IN JAIL, GUILTY OR NOT.

HOW 'BOUT A TEASER FOR "THE ASSASSINATION OF JESSE JAMES BY THE COWARD ROBERT FORD"? OR AS WE LIKE TO CALL IT, "TAoJJbtCRF"? L337!

THE MIGHTY THOR GETS TO DROP HIS HAMMER ON CELLULOID!

MISSING DUDES SHOVING METAL UP THEIR BUTTS AND HURTING THEMSELVES? WAIT ONLY A BIT LONGER FOR JACKASS: NUMBER 2.

REMEMBER "STRANGERS WITH CANDY"? AMY SEDARIS HOPES YOU DO, SO HERE'S A TRAILER FOR THE PREQUEL MOVIE.

"HULK 2" VS. "THE ABOMINATION" TO SEE WHO CARES THE LEAST.

NOT ONLY WILL THE ASGARDIAN GOD GET A MOVIE, BUT JOHNNY F. GETS "IRON MAN", "CAPTAIN AMERICA" & "NICK FURY" GET WRITERS, JUMP ON THE MARVEL TRAIN.

AND FINALLY, JUST IN TIME TO REALLY AMP UP BOX OFFICE SALES FOR "THE DA VINCI CODE", HERE COMES THE VATICAN!! YOU'D THINK THE CATHOLICS WOULD HAVE ALREADY FIGURED OUT THAT "BOYCOTTING" = "HUGE REVENUE FOR WHATEVER IS BEING BOYCOTTED", BUT THEN AGAIN, THEY ALSO THINK GOD TALKS TO THE POPE.

Nothing brings the funny like blasphemy! Have a great weekend! Go see some movies, would ya?!?

-Constable Kreegal
Big Boss of the Sheep