Compiled News 4-11-06

Super Tuesday, here on The Sheep.

OK, well, maybe just "Tuesday", but still...

Here's the not-much-news:



SINCE THERE'S NOT MUCH NEWS TODAY, HERE'S A PIC FROM SUPERHEROHYPE.COM TO CONTINUE YOUR X3 FETISH!

DISNEY & ABC TO OFFER FREE PRIMETIME SHOWS OVER THE INTERNET FOR 2 MONTHS, MAKING SURE "LOST" STILL DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE, EVEN AFTER YOU WATCH IT TWICE.

HOT ON THE HEELS OF "BEERFEST", BROKEN LIZARD BECOME AMBULANCE CHASERS", AND AREN'T WE ALL, REALLY?

AS IF EMINEM DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS, RAPPER "PROOF" OF D12 IS SHOT TO DEATH OUTSIDE A NIGHTCLUB ON EIGHT MILE ROAD.

WHO BETTER TO RUIN THE ALREADY DOOMED "DALLAS" MOVIE THAN JESSICA SIMPSON AS "LUCY EWING"?

REALIZING SHE HASN'T BEEN AT THE TOP OF THE TABLOIDS, JLO SUES HER EX-HUSBAND, WAGS HER HUGE ASS.

LEWIS BLACK HATES CLOWNS AND YOU.

EVER SINCE I WAS A YOUNG BOY, I SPENT EVERY DIME I HAD, FROM SOHO DOWN TO BRIGHTON, I MUST'VE SPENT IT ALL...BUT I AIN'T SEEN NOTHING LIKE THIS, I'M MILDLY APPALLED...THE WHO IS REALEASING A NEW ALBUM IN JUNE. SUCK IT.

OFFICIAL SHEEP WARNING FOR "READERS"...LIBRARIES WILL SEND YOU TO COLLECTIONS IF YOU DON'T PAY YOUR OVERDUE FINES! DO PEOPLE STILL READ? IS THIS REALLY NECESSARY? WHAT IF WE "BURN" THE BOOK? DOES THAT MAKE A DIFFERENCE? DO THEY STILL WANT IT BACK? CURIOUSER AND CURIOUSER.

That's it. Nothing else going on. Pretty slow day here at The Sheep. Do you wish you were us?

Until Humpday,

-Constable Kreegal
Big Boss of the Sheep