Compiled News 05-19-06

It's DA VINCI CODE DAY! GO SEE IT! WE ARE!!

But first, the NEWS:

REMEMBER, REMEMBER, THE FIRST OF...AUGUST, SUCKERS. "V FOR VENDETTA" HITS THE SHELVES!

WE WEREN'T THE ONLY ONES TO NOTICE THAT "MERCY REEF" (THE FORTHCOMING AQUAMAN SHOW) WASN'T ON THE CW'S LIST! DEAD! DEAD, I TELL YOU!

ON THAT NOTE, THE REAL CW LIST!

CASABLANCA. IN 30 SECONDS. WITH BUNNIES.

FRANK SPOTNITZ, WRITER OF ALL THINGS "X-FILES", IS HARD AT WORK ON "X-FILES 2: SEX?".

MSNBC RATES THEIR TOP 5 BOOK-TO-FILM ADAPTATIONS, STILL NO "LORD OF THE RINGS" OR EVEN "THE DRAGON RUBY".

RODRIGUEZ ANNOUNCES MORE "PLANET TERROR" OR "PROJECT TERROR" OR WHATEVER CAST, KICKING THE "GRINDHOUSE" TRAIN UP A NOTCH, AND BACK ANOTHER HALF A YEAR.

DON'T HAVE ALL THE NERD GEAR YOU NEED? BUY ALL OF THIS "STAR TREK" STUFF BEING AUCTIONED!

MISCHA BARTON DIES, SHITS ALL OVER FANS 2 HOURS BEFORE FINALE.

AS IF VINCE VAUGHN AS SANTA'S SHITTY BROTHER, "JOE CLAUS", ISN'T ENOUGH, LET'S ADD PAUL GIAMATTI, DAME JUDI DENCH AND KEVIN SPACEY INTO THE MIX!

FRESH OUT OF DEBT, TONI BRAXTON HIT VEGAS!

MORE FROM THE "SHAUN OF THE DEAD", "SUPERFUZZ" DIARIES!

SPEAK JAPANESE? BUY SADDAM'S BOOK! AMAZON.COM'S JAPAN DIVISION EXPECTED TO BLOW UP SPOT.

BANA WANTS BE HULK 2. BANA SMASH!

That's it. Have a great weekend. Go see THE DA VINCI CODE about 50 times. You know you wanna!

-Constable Kreegal
Big Boss of the Sheep