Compiled News 05-25-06

The Sheep gets to see "X3" tonight. Do YOU?

First, of course, is the NEWS:

MSNBC READERS REVEAL THEIR FAVORITE X-MEN. WHO'S YOURS?!? "X3" WEEK CONTINUES!

SPIELBERG'S REALITY SHOW "ON THE LOT" GOES LIVE! SIGN-UP NOW YOU WANNABE SUCKAS!

SPEAKING OF "SPIELBERG"... COULD SONY TAP HIM TO DIRECT "ANGELS & DEMONS" INSTEAD OF OPIE?!? WH-WH-WHAT?!? WELL, GOSH... IF WE HAD OUR CHOICE... WHO CARES?!? IT'LL BE FRICKIN' AWESOME EITHER WAY!!

LAUREN SHULER DONNER SAYS IT'S PROBABLY NOT "THE LAST STAND" FOR THE "X-MEN". OBVIOUSLY. ESPECIALLY AFTER IT MAKES $200 MILLION DOLLARS.

WHAT'S BETTER THAN BIG MOVIE POSTERS? WHY, SHITTY MOVIES THAT STEAL YOUR POSTER IDEAS, OF COURSE. WE GIVE YOU... C. THOMAS HOWELL & LANCE HENRICKSON (TO NAME A FEW).

SPEAKING OF WANNABES, DO YOU WANNA BE ON "LOST", "GHOST WHISPERER" OR "PRISON BREAK"? THEN YOU BETTER GET YOUR RESUME DUSTED OFF, POSER!

KEVIN SMITH PREPARES FOR CANNES BY RELEASING ANOTHER TEASER FOR "CLERKS 2" BECAUSE HE WILL OWN YOU.

GAY VAMPIRE MUSICAL "LESTAT" GETS READY TO SHUT DOWN ON SUNDAY, ELTON JOHN HEARD TO BE "NOT GIVING TOO MUCH OF A SHIT" WHILE CONTEMPLATING SUICIDE.

AGENT AARON PIERCE JOINS THE CAST OF "TRANSFORMERS: PRIME DIRECTIVE"!

FINALLY, JAY LENO OLD MAN LOOKIN' BAD SINGER-GUY WINS "AMERICAN IDOL". BOY, THAT CHICK REALLY MUST'VE BEEN A DYKE.

Take it or leave it,

-Constable Kreegal
Big Boss of The Sheep