EXCLUSIVE!

First of all, please know that we're trying to get things back into a working order here.

Secondly, know that STEPHEN KING'S newest novel CELL has been optioned by DIMENSION. If you haven't read it yet, do it. It's his best book since Desperation & Bag of Bones. Just plain good fun.

And now, for what you've all been waiting for....

THE SHEEP'S EXCLUSIVE NUDE PIC OF JESSICA ALBA!

THAT'S RIGHT!



YEAH! WOOOOOO-HOOOOOOO!!!!

Suck on that, you pervs. Go back to watching "Into The Blue" and "Sin City" with a hand in your pants.

And yeah, we know it's not an exclusive. We stole it straight from MOVIEHOTTIES.COM, the sister site to JOBLO.COM.

Just like we also know you can take a joke.

Even if it's only with one hand.

-Constable Kreegal
Big Boss of the Sheep

Compiled News March 2 - 7

Or something like that.

Anyhoo, here's the news:

CLICK HERE FOR THE NEW "X3" TRAILER THAT PREMIERED DURING THE BEST SHOW ON T.V.

HOW ABOUT THE JAPANESE "MI:3" TRAILER?

OSCAR WINNER GEORGE CLOONEY IS READY FOR THE END OF GOVERNMENT & THE WORLD!

SPIELBERG TAKES A BREAK, WHILE MAKING "INDY 4" AND "HONEST ABE".

CHRISTOPHER REEVE'S WIFE DIED. R.I.P. DANA REEVE.

HOW DID JOHNNY STEW DO AS THE OSCAR HOST? JUST ASK TIME MAGAZINE.

That's all we have time for in this five-o'clock-world, so keep your face in the clouds and keep pooping....on the stars....

Here's to letting you down,

-Constable Kreegal
Big Boss of the Sheep

Compiled News 2-27 & 28 March Frickin' 1st-06

Happy March. Plagued by computer problems and illness, we at The Sheep continue to disappoint. Get it while you can.

I've also been entertaining producers and tech crew of C.S.I. for the last two days. Having 16+ (mostly bald-sorry guys) people running around your shop all day can be rather taxing on a sick fella with a silver tooth.

G'YAAAR.

Before the news:

R.I.P. DON KNOTTS

R.I.P. DARREN MCGAVIN

R.I.P. DENNIS WEAVER

And now, as promised, some news:

MAKERS OF "SHAUN OF THE DEAD" MAKE A NEW MOVIE WITH ALL SORTS OF SWEET PEOPLE, INCLUDING "SHAUN" AND "ARTHUR DENT"! WE LIKE TO CALL IT "HOT FUZZ"!!

IN WHAT MAY BE THE ODDEST BIT OF NEWS IN A LONG TIME, REESE WITHERSPOON IS NOW HOLLYWOOD'S HIGHEST PAID ACTRESS. YES, REESE WITHERSPOON. NOT ANY OTHER ACTRESS, BUT RATHER, REESE WITHERSPOON.

VINCE VAUGHN TO PLAY SANTA'S DOWN-AND-OUT BROTHER, "FRED CLAUS".

WHAT DO ROB LOWE, MARY LOUISE PARKER, ANNA DEAVERE SMITH, GARY COLE, TIM MATHESON, EMILY PROCTOR, MARLEE MATLIN, TIMOTHY BUSFIELD AND ANNABETH GISH ALL HAVE IN COMMON? THEY'RE ALL GOING BACK TO "THE WEST WING" FOR THE LAST FEW EPISODES!

WHAT'S BETTER THAN ONE KILLER CROC ON THE LOOSE MOVIE? HOW ABOUT TWO KILLER CROCS ON THE LOOSE MOVIES. YEP.

ITCHING IN YOUR BLUE TIGHTS FOR SOMETHING "SUPERMAN"? HERE'S A PEAK AT THE VIDEO GAME!

MORE LATER.

-Constable Kreegal
Big Boss of the Sheep